Black & White.

Getting listless these days.
Work seems kind of unpredictable.
Sometimes I feel motivated,
While sometimes I just don't get the drive and energy to do anything.
Especially when I think of what's ahead.

I wish things were easier.
I wish things would simply float past on a cloud
And I can grab them as they past.
Ya ya.
That's wishful thinking exactly.

No doubt I am looking forward to the trip in May.
Yet I cannot seem to get past the thought that 10 days will be over in forty winks.
And when I come to the part of four empty months,
I can't help but hang my head in exasperation.

One year is almost up.
Fast but... mhhhh not so fast afterall.
I wonder if I have the energy to get through another year of this.
So what comes after next year
Another year?
But then again,
It's not that I have another choice anyway.

The more I think about moving,
The more dispair I get.
Answer-less questions keep swimming around in my head.
What should I do there?
What can I work as?
What happens to my responsibilities here?
What happens to the company?
Will I be happier?
Where does my money come from?
Will I fit in?
Can I adapt?
3 months seem easy enough.
But it's a total different story when it comes to staying for good.

Somehow I wish I were more talented.
Somehow I wish I had more money.