Thoughts Aloud
Stealing the last 10 minutes to blog while i wait for my colleague to knock off.
My head is much clearer now that life's back to normal.
No more drama, no more heartbreaks, no more crying spells.
Looking back, I think that i have been crying alot over the past year.
Mostly for the heartbreaks but recently, for the happy moments.
Every failed realtionship is a good learning point.
This cannot be any truer.
I thought that i wasn't going to pull through but i did.
And i have grown emotionally along the way.
There are times that i ask myself if the last relationship was not meant to be.
I figured that perhaps we just weren't suitable for each other.
We were vastly different in characters, had very different expectations and were too stubborn.
Sometimes i feel that we just went through a routine.
We met, we fell in love, and just settled for what we had.
Character flaws that we could not accept;
Different view points and interests that we couldn't tolerate;
Inadequancies that we could not make up for;
Were all that broke us.
No, it may not have been a bad thing if everything had worked out.
But it didn't.
I used to think that i could simply settle for what i had.
Yet now i realised that was the longstanding issue.
One should not simply settle for anything.
Because it leads to voids within the relationship.
No doubt i was happy but it wasn't satisfying.
Sparks were lacking between us.
And we bring out the worst in each other.
Undeniably, we often drive each other up the wall.
I guess both of us just fell into a routine of being together.
I am sure that i am inadequate in certain ways to him.
And perhaps he realised it sooner than me.
Hence the decision.
Having been through the shit stuff,
It makes the road in front look promising.
At least for now, i am happy.
What came unexpected turned out to be something good.
I didn't forsee myself dating someone else so soon.
Especially not someone of a different nationality.
Yet right now, this is the best thing that has happened to me over the past year.
No doubt it is a matter of distance,
But up till now, there has been no major issues.
The absence gets bad at times but it blows over very quickly.
We may feel distant physically but definitely not emotionally.
The relationship may be a few months old,
But it's definitely intense.
In a short span of 5 months,
We did everything from working to travelling to living together (for awhile).
I never really had the opportunity to live in with anyone until now
But i have to say that i enjoy the alone time together.
From grocery shopping to cooking and washing to watching tv and extreme couching,
It's just the everyday stuff.
Yet, they are more significant than anything else.
Because we share a part of each other's daily life.
Lessons drawn from the previous relationship made me more determined to not repeat the same mistakes.
My character flaws are aplenty.
And i have to admit that i am not the perfect gf.
I wouldn't say dani's perfect either
But he makes me feel that i matter.
So i guess i really have to count my blessings.
Of course,
Both relationships cannot be compared.
Each to its own.
Different relationships just have to be handled differently.
But all that matter is the present.
And my life is fulfilling because i have a bf who actually thinks of me when he goes shopping (haha).
