He's just not that into you

Caught this movie last night.
It wasn't all that funny like some people described it to be yet it was a nice film.
The scenarios really do portray real life situations that people can relate to.
I guess it applies to me in a way or another.
I haven't quite figured which character reflects the most about me right now.
The ending was not all that happy but i liked it.
Cause i have come to realized that not every story ends with a happily ever after.
That is just the way life is.
We just have to get on no matter what.
There is no luxury to indulge in fantasies and fairy tale endings.

On a happier note,
I have been feeling pretty upbeat the past few days.
Work has been exciting.
Days have been fulfilling.
Made new friends,
Met new people,
Went to new places,
Did new things.
And i wish the days will go on like this.

When you're around



Have been too lazy to blog so i will let the photos do the talking.

At Club Sabai with Don, Jon and Cheryl.

They mean the most...

desmond says:
u know
desmond says:
since we were young
desmond says:
i think u were e most bubbly girl tt i ever know
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

desmond says:
just like u
desmond says:
u're the bubbliest girl
desmond says:
second to champagne
desmond says:
u understand?

In retrospective

When i was still a school girl (Part 1)

I was just thinking back upon my schooling days. It's amazingly how fast one grows up. From Kindergarten to primary school and on to secondary then to JC and finally University. Did i really spent 22 years of my life studying? Ok, perhaps not 22 years, but it would at least have been 18 years. Despite numerous complaints about homeworks and exams and stress during those years, studying was definitely the best times of my life thus far.

I vaguely remember those days back in nursery and Kindergarten. My parents enrolled me in PAP back then. Those cute blue uniforms with the mega lightning badge above the left breast pocket. Ugly but forced to wear. Yes, i think i was already vain at the age of 5. I stayed with my paternal grandparents during the weekdays so that i could go to school. The reason being that i used to live in Jurong while my school was in Hougang. Perhaps i was a lonely girl then, no sisters to pick fights with, no sisters to bully and no sisters to scream at, which left me with lots of time alone to doll up and be vain. I recall rummaging through my aunt's drawers to find her prettiest clips adorned with crystals to wear them to school even though i had little hair to speak of at that age. I would spend lots of time in front of the mirror each day trying to pin or tie my hair into the prettiest ponytail or bun before school. Not that there were any cute little boys in my class i wanted to impress, but girls are vain by nature aren't they. They just want to look pretty all the time. Even now, my mom and grandma never fail to remind me that i was a difficult kid when young. Crazy, wilful and stubborn. My grandma probably told everyone how i used to bite her when she refused to buy me sweets each time she picked me up after school. And up till now, her friends still ask her which was the grandkid that used to leave bite marks all over her arms back in those days. They really make me out to be such a terror.

K2 or in my case, pre-primary was spent in RGPS. I think the '86 and '85 batches were the only ones who had this programme introduced. I thought it was pretty cool but have no idea why the government abolished it anyway. I have to admit the hours were long and tiring but i found it more fun than staying home and playing make believe games with a younger sister who cries all the time. Pre-primary was like a prelude to primary 1: long hours in school, fierce teachers, endless homework, intimidating seniors and what nots. Yet, it was exciting at the same time: I could take the school bus with my sister and sit with the rest of the older people; i could put on my cute little blue and white striped sleeveless uniform with matching bloomers underneath; i could stay in class and wait for food to be delivered to us while the others queued for food in the canteen; I could take afternoon naps after lunch while the others were studying and the best thing was the fact that i could go to school with my elder sister. I have always enjoyed the long bus rides to school (I shifted to Hougang at the end of K1) though i remembered always getting bullied by this primary 5 Henry Park boy called Matthew Koh. We called him Mopiko and he absolutely hated it. He would try to taunt me all the time and there was this one incident when i tried to kick him because he was being such an irritant, but he grabbed my leg and snatched my shoe away. Feeling indignant, i confronted him for my shoe and we started arguing which resulted in me scratching him and him getting a scolding from the bus uncle. Hahah. Otherwise, my K2 life was pretty much uneventful.

Moving on to primary school is perhaps an important phase in every child's life because this is when a child officially starts schooling. To me, it was both exhilarating and terrifying on the first day. Having studied in the school for the past one year, my mom probably thought i would be fine on my own. I though i would be too but as i wandered around on my own and saw crying kids with mothers comforting them, i began to feel alone and i cried. I remember standing in the middle of the walkway, feeling lost and trying hard to be brave. I was upset that i didn't had my mother to comfort me and I couldn't find my sister which terrified me even more. It was many years later that my mom told me she actually went to school to see me, only that she did it stealthily. Being in a so called elite school, there was the pressure to work hard. Everyone did exceptionally well in tests and exams and there were still the absurdly smart GEP girls. I was very much the good girl who had to score band 1s for every exam and cried when she couldn't. The very first test that i failed was a models math test. I scored 7/20 for it and went home crying. To make matters worse, i got a huge scolding for failing. And i thought my parents would be more sympathetic since i was already visibly upset. I wasn't a talented kid from young. I didn't have ballet and piano lessons to boast about; only chinese speech and drama lessons which i adored and it's probably the reason why i love chinese language so much. I attended chinese calligraphy, art lessons and took up gymnastics as well but i didn't have the flair for any. I probably led a boring life during my primary school days. It was school and then home after school to study and do homework, i never went out. Sometimes i wonder if that's the cause for my rebellious ways in secondary school.

And everyone drops dead

I wish i could just close my eyes,
Fall into a deep sleep.
And life will go on as usual,
The world will still spin.
Even without me.
Cause i don't matter.

Cause her heart's all over the world tonight

Another day has come to an end.
If only time would pass faster...
If only everyday could just breeze by..
Sometimes i wonder if anything has changed at all.
Or are we still standing at the same spot.
Perhaps we went one circle and came back to the starting point.
I'm so tired.
Really tired.
I think that should be enough for now.

For the pleasant surprise today,
Thank you.
Yes, it did cheer my day.
And thanks for keeping to your promise of msging everyday too.
It helps a little.
It really does.

And the rain is falling


Finally got to sit in my dad's car for the first time this morning.
Feels better than the previous one.
Higher and more comfortable for snoozing.
But i still prefer the old jag.
It's more classic and more unique.

Surprsingly, i'm feeling less tired than yesterday.
I know i have been sleeping kind of late these days.
And it's taking a toll on me.
Have been dozing off while driving lately.
It scares me but i can't help it.
Worse still, i beat the red light unknowingly yesterday while deep in thoughts.
I ought to be taken off the road.

Went to Hk cafe for coffee last night with the usual people.
Yixiang, edwin and vincent.
Matthew was too tired to come out and michelle had a surprised planned for her boyfriend.
We sat around for awhile.
Snapping pictures and doing silly things like trying to fly paper aeroplanes into each other's mouths.
Everyone is fascinated with yx's camera these days.
And i don't deny that we do have pretty pictures almost everytime.
I guess pictures are still the best ways to keep memories.

Got home about 1 plus but i couldn't get to sleep.
It was quite awhile before i finally closed my eyes.
I suspect i have forgotten how to laugh.

When i look into your eyes





Last weekend had been pretty pleasant.
We went out to celebrate Matthew's birthday.
It was a steamboat dinner at Bugis followed by KTV at Chinatown and then to Mt Faber to just hang out.
I really enjoyed the night.
I hope the rest did too.

We had Liping join us for steamboat that night.
And seeing her brought me back to rocmoc days.
The carefree feeling, my JC life, my most precious memories.
Dinner wasn't that bad.
The food was acceptable though the variety wasn't that great.
I think as i age, i prefer more private affairs.
Save the noise, the hassle and the energy.
And i think i have an idea for my birthday.

We finished dinner at 930 sharp so that we could rush off for our KTV session.
We sang our way through the 3 hour session with only a short break to cut the cake.
Matthew had his favourite kaya cake from Bengawan Solo.
Cause this boy doesn't fancy chocolate cakes.
If 21st was the first birthday we all celebrated together,
Then this will be 4th one.
But there will be many more to come.

Vincent drove us all up to Mt Faber where we walked the Henderson Waves.
Awesome place.
Ken took me there once.
And this was only my second time there.
We walked till the end of the bridge and simply hung around to take pictures.
I think that part of the night was what i enjoyed most.
Vincent was the fake-professional-photographer,
Michelle was the fashion director,
I was the fashion assistant,
And the 3 guys were the models.
I really think a calendar would be cool.

Across the clear blue skies

It's already saturday.
The sun seems to be shining today.
But will it last?
Cause the weather has been so erratic recently.
I hope the warmth of the sun lasts long enough.

I have been mulling over this question for the past few days:
Am i afraid to be alone?
I guess so.
I will be scared.
I will be lonely.
But i figured it would be better than being miserable.
And some say being alone trains independence.
That, i believe.

Life experiences determines who we are.
It shapes the the person we become.
Some change for the better;
Some for the worse.
And i hope i am the former.
Growing up ain't easy.
There are more issues to deal with;
More pain to go through;
More hardships to endure;
And less room for mistakes.
As much as i wish growing up was easier,
I have learnt alot along the way.

Perhaps it's time to step out of my comfort zone and sheltered life.
And i hope i'll be a better girl.