Let me hold on to tonight

I am aching all over again though it isn't as bad as last week.
Training with the team was incredibly fun.
The girls are really an awesome bunch.
And i really enjoy training with them.
So much fun, some much laughter and so much energy.
Makes the toughness of training so much more bearable.
And it brings back the precious memories of those training days during year 1 and 2.
I would say nothing can beat that.
The camaraderie, the friendship, the team spirit.
Nothing can replace that.

It hasn't been easy trying to catch up with the rest.
The moves that they can all do,
The ease at which they climb,
And the endurance that they possess,
Is what i need to work on.
I really appreciate the trainers for allowing me to join in the trainings.
Gives me the motivation to continue climbing and to want to improve.
Especially with this bunch of fun people.

Trainings with the guys have been great too.
It may be tougher to a certain extent but the extra hard work is what i really need.
Boulder is another 2 months away.
I used to think i would still take part but now i would think otherwise.
I am definitely not in any position to compete now.
I need alot more training and alot more hardwork before i can even think about it.
Yet, i think i'll be as happy standing by the sidelines watching the team compete.
Meanwhile, i just want to improve steadily.

Dad said: "You won't be able to get 100% girl, 70% will be good enough"
And i think i agree.

as the cars rolled over my toes

Scary.
I was just about to complain about Ken and he messaged.
He must have sensed it somehow.
I'm surprised he's still awake at this hour though.
And as i am typing this,
We are having an arguement about replying mails.
But as usual,
I think i'm gonna lose this arguement eventually.
That boy bullies all the time.

I have been really laggy in updating my blog.
Feeling kind of lazy these days and there is no urge to write.
Was discussing about blogging with someone a few days back and some interesting thoughts came to mind:
Why do people actually blog?
Some blog to share about their everyday happenings
Some blog to keep others updated about their live
Some use their blogs as a discussion platform
And others blog as a form of self expression
As for me, i think it is more of the latter.

Blogging gives me the opportunity to write and practise my language.
It takes me a fair amount of time to compose my posts each time but i realised that as i blog, it gets easier over time.
To write a good blog post isn't all that easy but what constitues a good blog post?
Is it the content?
Is it the flowery language?
Or is it something else?
In my opinion, a good post does not necessarily have to be long, flowing and full of pictures.
A good post is simply one that can evoke the same after thoughts and emotions within the writer while reading back.
A good post is one that can express the writer's feelings explicitly, even with a one liner.

So, next comes the question:
Does one need to have a good command of the language to be able to blog well?
My answer would be no.
All it takes to churn out a good post is to write with feelings.
The rest will follow naturally.
But one shouldn't only stick to a standard way of writing.
Exploring the array of writing methods spices up the blog.
Be it prose or poems, pictures or one-liners, standard writing or creative writing,
It all adds dimensions to a post.
In any case, i think anyone who puts their heart into writing will be able to come up with a decently good post.

Eye Tricks

I have been using commas as apostrophes and apostrophes and commas.
And i can't seem to revert back.
Both look the same to me somehow.
What's wrong.
Pifft.
I suspect that my phone was what got me started.
, and ' looks the same on my phone.
Small and puny.
Makes it really tough for me to differentiate.
Perhaps i just didn't bother trying after awhile.
I'll try living with the mix up.

My Baby Steps

I'm aching all over now but it feels good.
Joined the guys for training yesterday and i am glad that i did.
Decided that i have to start climbing hard instead of just doing all those leisure climbs.
Or i'll just keep deproving.
And i can't let that happen.
Feel that i lack everything now.
The endurance, the strength and especially finger strength.
I have to work harder.
And i have to climb more.
I know it'll take some time for me to catch up with the rest with my current standard.
But it's ok.
I don't mind starting all over again.
I don't mind joining the novice girls for training, building everything from scratch.
In fact, the novice girls may even be better than me.
Haven't been able to do alot of routes.
I feel demoralised sometimes but i know that doesn't mean i can give up.
All the more i should try.
Once, twice, thrice.. it doesn't mater how many times.
As long as i don't give in.
And i will get there one day.
No more being lazy.
I hope i will improve steadily.
On a side note, i can't seem to differentiate comma and apostrophe any longer.

To start a new day

Yes, i know i haven't been real consistent in blogging these days..
But i couldn't convince myself to start typing till today.

This weekend was a quiet one.
No special programmes, no late nights, no adventures.
The only thing that wore me out was mahjong on friday night with denzyl and the rest.
I hung on till 4am before we finally decided to call it quits.
Headed home straight to bed for a 3 hour nap before work.
Will i ever get to sleep late on saturday mornings..

Managed to squeeze some time out to go shopping on saturday evening.
A short but fruitful trip nevertheless.
But i still need more of such shopping trips.
Promised mom that i would be home for dinner that night and i did.
Took my dinner and went for a short run.
From my house out to the coffeeshop.
I decided i would start slow..
My legs are aching though.
I never liked to run but i thought maybe it's time for a change.
I guess it's the process that i dislike - the breathelessness, the tireness, and the endless road.
Yet, the feeling after a run gives a sense of satisfaction.
Just that.. when will the ache in my legs go away..

Sleeping in on sundays are heavenly.
Don't have to wake up feeling beat, feeling groggy, feeling like i just fought a battle the night before and lost.
I can roll around in bed, get tangled up in my covers, bury my head under my pillow and simply sigh with contentment.
But how often do i get to do that..

Spent last wednesday night out with the usual gang..
Took a quick shopping trip with mich before heading to Timbre @ Arts House to meet the rest.
And mich secretly got me something..




Thought it's something small but the gesture meant alot to me.
Thanks mich..

The band playing that night was the same one i heard at Walas the other night..
Though they weren't playing some heavy metal rock and stuff but i figured i didn't exactly enjoy their performance on wednesday night.
What's worse, the violinist wasn't present.. and i like the way she plays.
We drove around to look at houses in the prime districts after that..
Huge, sprawling, magnicifent and of course, they don't come cheap.
We stared, we drooled and we awed because we know we will never get to stay in one.
But it feels good to just dream sometimes..

Rewind to Tuesday.
Went to school to climb.
Finally some exercise.
The lack of exercise over the past 2 weeks has left me feeling flabby.
And it has taken a toll on my climbing..

And there was a hole..

Realised that i haven't been blogging the past few days.
Not sure if it's because i am lazy or that i just don't feel like putting anything into words.
Sometimes there are just things that can't be conveyed with words.
And i think the past week have been like that.
I guess i ought to write about the past year's highlights or the past year's happenings or even the past year's reflections but i don't have the heart to.
What about this year's resolutions then?
I don't have any at the moment.
I only have new year wishes.
Not for myself.

I was thinking:
How does one make oneself less stupid, less silly, less stubborn
How does one know if someone else cares
How does one react to revelations
How does one decide what's really good for oneself
How does one have the strength to pull through the difficult times
How does one convince oneself to be so decisive
How does one get through everyday unscathe
How does one mend the hole in one's favourite pillow

Then i decided:
One's stupidity, one's silliness and one's stubborness is inborn. There's no way one can change it so one should live with it.
One shouldn't bother who cares or who doesn't.
One should just face up to the revelations.
One doesn't know what's really good for oneself, so don't bother to decide.
One should just use up whatever strength one has left, maybe the difficult times would be over soon.
One should not bother to convince oneself.
One must be very lucky to get throught everyday in one piece.
One must mend the hole no matter what.