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A Thousand Lilac Petals
And chapters of my life Quotes: Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Saturdays
Saturday, November 29, 2008, 11:11 AM
Are Sunshine Kisses


Had another late night yesterday.
Need to catch up on some good sleep.
Went with yixiang to SITEX last evening.
Thanks for lugging my buys on my behalf.

Dinner was wanton mee at joo chiat.
Gave up bedok 85 cause we couldn't get a parking space.
We both craved the bak chor mee though.
And i guess there'll be no mahjong this weekend afterall.

December is nearing and so is christmas.
I love festives.
It's the season for loving.
Looking forward to christmas shopping with my sisters.

This christmas will be different.
But i'll make it a good one.
No more tears.
No more heartaches.

Please tell santa
I don't want to be at war this christmas.


early morning talks
Friday, November 28, 2008, 3:17 PM
with sunny-side-up

i just had the most honest conversation ever.


Blue Skies and Wednesdays
Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 4:12 PM
My Grown Up Christmas List



Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list
This is my grown up christmas list


Once upon a time
Tuesday, November 25, 2008, 3:07 PM
in that mind of hers

just got back from lunch!
full, happy and sleepy.
went to meet my mom and sister at RTC for jap food.
such a rare chance ever since i started work.
dad didn't join us cause he went for golf.

finally had something different for lunch today.
the usual is always rice.. curry.. western..
i end up eating almost the same thing every week.
getting really sick of it.
sometimes, even maggie noodles appeal more to me.

i guess i'm beginning to get used to working life.
yet it doesn't mean that i enjoy it nor does it mean that i like it.
school's still the fav.
but i'm lucky that everyone in the company treats me nice.
lucky that my boss is lenient with me (for now).
lucky that i am not constantly bogged down by work.
although everything may look so rosy at the moment but i think the responsibilities and the pressure that comes with it have yet to be heaped upon me.

sometimes i really wonder if i'm cut out for business.
i never had any interest in doing business since young.
some may say i'm so fortunate cause i don't have to worry about life, about my job and about money.
but i say they don't know that i don't exactly have a say in things at times.
i chose to work in the company though my dream was to work in the hospital.
it's not that i don't have a choice but how could i bear to let my dad's efforts all go to naught?
this is probably the most precious thing that he'll leave us when he's gone in future.

i want so much to be able to live up to all these.
but there are times that i doubt myself.
i can only hope that i won't disappoint him.
i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

In that corner
Sunday, November 23, 2008, 11:29 AM
sits the abandoned bear

The boy carelessly tossed aside his old bear as he found his new toy.
A new shining robot.
The old bear no longer holds any appeal to him.
Now it sits quietly at the corner.
Silently crying.
Hoping that the boy will care enough to pick it up again one day.

The old bear used to be loved.
It was what the small boy hugged to sleep every night.
And brought with him everywhere.
The small boy never let it out of his sight for once.
This old bear grew up with the small boy.
And it loved the small boy just as much.

Now, the old bear lies abandoned in that lonely corner.
Dusty and dirty.
Its once glorious fur no longer shined for it has not been washed in a long time.
From the dark corner, the old bear looks on.
It sees the boy obsessed with his new prized possesion.
The old bear cries to itself every night.
Wondering why did the small boy abandoned it.
Maybe the old holds no appeal anymore.

The little girl spotted the abandoned bear in that dark corner.
She saw those sad eyes and knew that the old bear must have once be loved.
She reached for the old bear and pulled it out of the musky corner.
The small girl looked beyond the greyed fur and the oldness.
This was to be her only toy.
She would make up for the lost love.

The world is full of disparities.
Some rich; some poor.
Some children get a new toy every other day; others don't even have one.
Maybe that's why some people can afford to carelessly toss aside their once prized possession.
The thing they onced loved so much.
The thing that holds so much memories for them.
But how can an old bear compare to the lastest robot.
New, shiny, more expensive.
Yet, there are others who treasure things that people abandoned.
Like the little girl who picked up the old bear.
She'll treasure it for it was once loved.

Things come and go.
Naturally the new looks good.
But who knows that the old carries the sweetest memories.
And that familiar smell.

Old friends are like teddy bears.

After midnight
, 3:59 AM
the truth finally hit me

and i finally understood.
he has made his choice.
what's yours

Senseless Thoughts
Saturday, November 22, 2008, 9:06 AM
Catching up with me

How can one think so much and not come up with any conclusion after it all.
Does that mean that the thoughts made no sense
I'm surprised by my own ability to think so much and end up nowhere in the process.
Yet thinking and doing are two different things.
There are endless things that you can think about doing, but there are limited things that you can do which you thought about.
In my case, my hands are tied.
And i cannot fathom..

Aside with the senseless thoughts.
Went out on thurs with cw and jj.
Had jap food at Bukit Timah Shopping Center then ice cream at Daily Scoops.
Talked about a whole load of stuff.
Filled our stomachs and our minds.






































Thursday Afternoons
Thursday, November 20, 2008, 3:19 PM
Santa's been tugging at my hearts string

Yes. No.
Thinking. Wondering.
Morning. Noon. Night.
Said it. Swallowed it.
Replaying. Yet to stop.
Secrets. Buried deep.
Thoughts. Keep within.
Maybe. Perhaps, Not.
Don't want to. There's no choice.
Follow through. I have to.
Christmas. Lights. Pictures.
Festive. Love. Missing.
Presents. Thinking. Planning.
Only for you.

Is it
Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 2:33 PM
Tea with milk or without













































It's really only about the touch-screen function.
And maybe the price.

My braces are cutting me.
Badly.
Must be the weather.

I love rainy days when i'm inside..

Out on the prowl
Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 10:25 AM
Fat Face Swollened Eye

Been seeing things all in a blur again.
Gonna remain like this for the next few months or so.
No more contacts.
No more fake perfect vision.
Warning to stop abusing my eyes with contacts.
But i haven't.
Have been treating them good.
Only occasional abuse.
And only for short periods.
Yet Mr Eye Specialist who charges me a bomb for a short 15 min or less consultation said i'll go blind if i disobey him.
Scared me with a boy who was waiting upstairs for an injection in his right eye cause he was going blind from contacts abuse.
I saw him.
Was sitting beside me while i waited for my turn.
Depressing sight in the clinic.
So my only option is lasik.

Actually it isn't all bad living life with a blurred vision.
Some things look better unclear.
Leaves the mind some room for imagination.
Maybe Daniel Tiang will look like Daniel Wu now.
Just that driving can be such a bother.
Can't put on my specs for long cause they get me high on giddiness.

Was a saddening monday.
Uneventful sunday.
And bustling saturday.
Monday was spent sleeping.
Sunday was spent sleeping.
Saturday was spent shuttling between places.
Was at the coffeeshop with family.
Then went to E&Y company department's bbq.
Interesting people i met.
All young and my age.
Now i think my cousin is old.
Haha.

Went back to the coffeshop after that then off again to Hk cafe.
Had a late night supper with Brandon.
He walked me home.
And i walked him out again.
Weird things people do..
So we sat at the bus stop till 2 plus.
Pouring out stories after stories.
While waiting for my cousin to pick me up.
My eye was killing me by then.
Went home and sent myself straight to bed.
And i think i had nice dreams.

I was a good girl this weekend.

Pictures
Friday, November 14, 2008, 4:14 PM
SAYS IT ALL...

























































































Loved the ice cream and company.

Hate the background.



My special cactus
Thursday, November 13, 2008, 4:04 PM
Under weird conditions

Just watered my cactus.
I think it's growing again.
Pinch it a little everyday to see how fat has it grown.
It was dying just some time back.
Was then that i decided to bring it back to my office.
I guess seeing it everyday reminds me that i have to water it.
It drinks the same water as i do; from the same cup.
I wonder if it can take coffee and tea.
I'm a little tempted to share my lipton tea.
My cactus is loved.
And perhaps my cactus is special cause it thrives in my air conditioned room.

With You
Wednesday, November 12, 2008, 10:18 AM
THERE ARE

so many places that i wanna go with you,
to the places that we have never been to before.
so many adventures that i want to experience with you,
and keep the memories with us till we're aged.
so many storms that i want to weather with you,
to brave the wind and rain that comes crashing down.
so many secrets that i want to let you in on,
to rid my mind of the gossips and burdens.
so many people that i want you to meet,
the important and unimportant; the loved and the acquaintances.
so many moments that i want to be with you,
because i want you to be part of my everyday life.
and so many thoughts that i want to share with you,
just so that you'd know.

Through the eyes of a jie mei
Monday, November 10, 2008, 10:41 AM
Seen, Heard, Felt and Deeply Touched


Woke up at an ungodly hour to get ready.
Washed up, got dressed, made up, packed my bags, and i was ready to set off!
It was only 530am.
And the rain was coming down in buckets full.
Hands full of stuff, fumbling with my belongings and the umbrealla, there was no way i could get into the car unscathe.
Swung by Evon's place to pick her up and we were on our way to Kelly's place.

Arrived at approximately 6am.
The bride was getting her hair and make-up done.
The rest of the sisters were already there.
We got down to work quickly.

Evon did the make-up, the rest helped to prepare for the games and i briefed everyone on the games.
Laughter and endless chatter filled the entire living room as we decided on how much to ask for from the goom.
We set our sights on $188 but we were planning to start our offer at $888
Couldn't help popping into the room now and then to check on the bride.
She looked beautiful.
As it neared 7am, the excitement started to build up.
The groom and his brothers were arriving.
15 minutes later,we heard the insistent honking from below.
The groom was here to claim his bride.
"Alright girls, time to get into positions"

The metal grill had been padlocked, the wooden door shut tightly.
There was no way we're letting them in without a fat angpow.
We heard their footsteps out in the corridor and then came the knocking.
"Look at the sign pasted on the door!" We said.
Patiently, we stared at the slot under the door.
No angpow came.
So we opened a small slit and haggled with them.
They handed over the first one.
Only $22?!
Way too little.
We bargained and traded and bargained while the matchmaker kept reminding us that we were running out of time.
Finally, they handed us this big and fat ang pow and we thought this was it.
The sisters excitedly tore open the red packet only to find another red packet inside.
Layers after layers we peeled open and... we saw it!
A folded 100 dollar bill!
The girls squealed in delight.
We opened the note, only to find the words SPECIMEN printed across the note.
Damn. We got tricked!
And we laughed at our own silliness.
There was no time to waste any further, so we started with the games.
We handed the groom a cup of vinegar and told him it represented one of the four aspects of marriage. Sour.
They were told to finish it and his brothers helped.
Concentrated sugar syrup mixed with coke followed to represent sweet.
They almost died from sweetness.
Bitter and spicy (we gave them chilli sweets) followed.
Next, the groom had to get blessings from 3 strangers within 10 minutes.
And again, they finished the task.
Due to the lack of time, we decided we would let them in for one more angpow.
They gave us a cheque without hesistation.
But we doubted its credibility.

We let them in after they eventually handed us the real ang pow.
But that wasn't all from us.
We had more in store.
"List out 10 qualities you love about your wife while doing push-ups. You mut say it loud enough for Kelly to hear from the room'' We told the groom.
He sportingly did it.
His wife breaking out in giggles all that while.
The second last task: Marriage contract.
Read, pledged, signed and sealed with a kiss.
The only thing left now was to sing her a love song.
He did it.
Right outside her door.
My heart melted. Hers must have too.

He opened the door.
His wife seated right there in front of him.
Looking radiant and getting all excited.
He went down on one knee, presenting the bouquet to her.
The veil was lifted and the groom kissed his bride.
Can it get any sweeter.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61545&id=587940517
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61557&id=587940517


It was almost 830am when the bridal party arrived at the groom's place.
Food was served while the couple got ready for the tea ceremony.
Photographer was busy snapping pictures of the bride and groom in their marital room.
Every picture spilling with affections.
A floor bed, striking bedspread, matching curtains, Mickey & Minnie shaped sushions, everything oozed couplehood.
I love the wedding photo of them.
It's more than just a wedding portrait.
It's a reminder of their commitment to each other everyday.

Time to take off the veil after the tea ceremony.
A groom's job to do.
Ended it off with a kiss for perfection.
Words really don't do justice to the atmosphere then.
Helped the bride to change out into her tea dress.
Laden with jewellery, the sisters had a tough job removing them all.
Dressed and ready, we were on the go again.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61558&id=587940517

Back to the bride's place we headed.
For another round of tea serving.
The couple had mian xian with eggs.
Symbolises eternal bliss.
Feeding each other as they ate, they were beaming from ear to ear.
How could anyone blame them.
It was afterall, their day.

Thought i could get some rest before the dinner.
But no, i had a important task at hand.
Got to do up the morning express montage for the dinner that night.
I almost died.
Thought i took a blank disc instead, the photos couldn't load, the photos were truncated, my com kept hanging.
Only managed to start doing at 4pm
Had to pick Evon up at 5.
And i hadn't even dressed.
I started to panic.

Was late in picking Evon up.
Reached the hotel at 6pm cause we got lost.
In a total frenzy.
Needed to make up, needed to convert the video, needed to finish my montage.
My com wouldn't cooperate, neither would the connection.
People milling around me.
The cacophany almost drowned me.
As 7pm neared, they started to file out.
I felt that i could breathe again.
Finally got everything done by 8pm.

Was all quiet in the bridal suite.
Just the 3 of us.
Evon, Charlene, Kelly.
The bride was fidgety.
She's cute.
Kept going to the toilet cause she was nervous.
Wished her all the best and i left.

She stood anxiously in front of the closed door.
Her husband on the other end.
The doors opened.
The music played.
And the bride walked down the aisle.
Midway she stopped.
Flowers in hand, the groom came to fetch his bride.
He knelt before her, presenting the flowers.
And now they walked down the aisle hand in hand.
Was a touching moment.
I felt for her.

Rest of the night went smoothly.
Food was acceptable.
Montage was good.
I was relieved.
The only thing that marred the night was he who sat beside me.
He really spooks me.
And i have nothing to say to him.
Doing it only cause i love the bride.
And the worst have yet to come.

It was time to end the night.
I stood chatting at the entrance with the sisters.
And he stood behind me.
I tried to ignore.
But boy was he persistent.
"Why wouldn't he go?!" I thought.
Frustrated, i turned and said please go, i'll be late.
Why is he so obstinate, i don't know.
He said he'd wait. I said no.
I'd just ignore i decided.
Maybe he got it. He said goodbye and left.
I couldn't be any happier.

The remaining 4 sisters went up to the suite.
Bridal bouquet had yet to be thrown.
Behind her we all stood.
"Don't hit my head please" I cautioned as she threw the bouquet.
I covered my head and ducked as fast as i could.
At that very instant, i got hit.
Everyone burst one laughing as i rolled onto the ground.
"No... please. I don't want it", I pleaded with them.
But they wouldn't hear of it.
It was mine once it hit me and it really does come true.
Ok. I'm dead.
We sat around chatting just for awhile more and that was it.

Hugs and good nights exchanged,
We left the newly married couple to their own.
It was their night...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61569&id=587940517
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61578&id=587940517



I call this
Friday, November 7, 2008, 3:18 PM
Battle of the body organs

I'm having a bad day. Been making so many mistakes at work. Getting really frustrated. Though some are just small mistakes but i feel so bothered by them. Everything feels heavy today and that's just when i thought my mood's lifting.

Sometimes there are things that you don't want to know, gossips that you don't want to hear, images that you don't wish to see but sadly can't avoid. Sometimes there are words that you want to believe and people that you want to trust but you don't know if you can. And sometimes there are confessions that you want to make, thoughts that you want to reveal and once again, you know you shoudn't. Is it because the heart rules over the mind. What does it take for the mind to take control. Yet, even if it does, it may not necessarily be the best thing. Maybe i ought to ask, what does it take for the mind and the heart to not exist. I would probably like that.

They say the mind should rule over the heart but the mind isn't firm enough. I always let the heart rule and bid the mind to follow. But for now, i'd gladly give up the mind and forgo the heart only because both the mind and heart can't do anything right. They aren't even doing their normal duties. The heart isn't beating; the mind isn't working.

My cactus is growing fatter.

For The Loved One
Thursday, November 6, 2008, 11:08 AM
Over a cup of cappuccino

Materials Needed:
1) Evon, Charlene
2) Roses, floral tape, wire, ribbon
3) Macdonald's table
4) Cuppaccino
5) Patience
Finished Product:



































together with sore fingers and aching butts.
Painstakingly done.
The price to pay for being a jie mei.



Not any better
Tuesday, November 4, 2008, 9:10 AM
My terrible morning

Just got back to work after a day of rest at home. Went to see the doc after Climb On! on Sunday night and he thinks that i have gastric. I wasn't really convinced cause i haven't been skipping my meals until this problem came so how could it be gastric? Moreover, i eat my meals more than regularly. But the doc told me that gastric can occur due to stress or bacteria infection and so i believed him. Stress seems like a viable explanation..

I don't know if the medicine really worked cause i don't seem to be feeling any better than before. I still get the same uncomfortable feeling all the time and my stomach still grumbles alot. It didn't hurt yesterday but the pain came back this morning. I haven't taken anything other than home cooked food and healthy stuff for the past few days so i presume that it isn't stomach upset or anything like that. Infact, i don't even have the urge to go to the toilet. The doc told me to go back and see him if it doesn't get any better and he'll do an ultrasound. I don't feel worried at all, just annoyed that it isn't getting any better and that the med don't seem to be taking effect. Even the drowsy med isn't knocking me out at night. I'm mad.

Can't decide if i should go climb later or go home and i still have to bring my dress to the tailor for alterations. Have to get alot done before Sunday. I'm feeling tired and lethargic all the time now, but i have been clocking enough hours of sleep really.

Maybe mood affects