I'm starting to wonder what am i hoping for..
Somehow there isn't anything that i can hope for anymore.

My heart gets more stoned with each passing day.
Maybe i'm getting stronger or maybe i'm losing the ability to feel.
Perhaps it's better like this - not being able to feel loved, feel hurt, feel sad, feel like everyday is so damn freaking hard to get by.
I wake up every morning not knowing what am i waking up for.

It hurts to know that i'm not over it.
It's so tiring living in pretense.
I'm so not ok but i have to act like i am.
I want to cry my heart out but i have to bite my lips.
I am not having fun but i have to laugh like everyone else.
I am the weakest girl in the entire world yet i have to pretend that i am strong.
I don't know when will i ever feel better but i have to lie that i'm better everyday.

I am not fighting anymore.
Why fight when the other person has given up.
Why fight for something that is so one-sided.
Why fight when what you do is futile.
I give up.

I am simply the heartless girl.